Temple of Athena the Savior

Long dark tresses fell to the floor

Bzz Bzz Bzz

Went the shaver. 

A sacrifice of beauty, an offering of pain. 

A shocking change if not forewarned – 

Good. 

I should look different. I’m not the same.

.

We didn’t even have a body then.

It was more than a month before he got your ashes. 

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I still think of myself has having long hair

I look in the mirror and see the mess growing back

And I remember.

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I miss you

Not as much as others who lost you, I’m sure. 

I wasn’t around much at the end.

We grew up, we drifted apart – 

Then you cut me out.

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Your kids are doing okay, if you’re wondering. 

As well as can be expected I suppose. 

I hope it’s nice where you are. I hope you’re happy. 

I hope you found the peace you didn’t in life.

I’ve done some crazy things since you left.

Forgive me. 

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You were trying to die for a long time, 

Not overtly with scars or loudly with a gunshot 

But with one drink at a time.

Your passing drove me a little mad, 

Even as I tried to be strong for your family. 

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I miss you.

The worst thought, the absolute worst,

Is the possibility that you died hating me,

The fact that we never got to make up. 

I only wanted to help you.

But you wanted to drown in a bottle. 

And if you wouldn’t grab a liferaft for your husband or children,

You certainly wouldn’t for me. 

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I’m sorry.