Temple of Athena the Savior

I actually wrote this about 6 months ago. I knew what my choice was. It just took me too long to make the right one.

---

Must there always be a choice 

Between sacred things and the safety and security this world offers?

I know I’m being called to make a sacrifice, but I fear what that sacrifice might be.

Is not love something to celebrate, a cause to rejoice?

No celibacy is required by Pagan Gods,

The union of two into one is holy sacrament instead.

The wrong mate can pull away the focus from holy things, I know

Must I choose between my heart and my soul? 

Past lovers made the choice difficult enough, but with their ill treatment ultimately paid the price

And lost my love, for my own sanity’s sake. 

He seems so nearly crafted to complement me, so kind, so strong, and forgiving of my many faults, willing to support me where I am weak ….

But. 

But.

This one thing. This ONE thing.

He is faithless. 

Not so cruel and mocking about my belief as my last love, no sneer upon his lips when he speaks of it, and for this I counted myself lucky. 

But.

But. 

Is lack-of-contempt enough? 

It is easier to be of the same culture, to have shared rituals that bring you together and reinforce the holy bond you share with your spouse, but for him I was willing to do difficult-level relationship, even after my last disastrous one. 

And more than “easier” I feel a powerful call to a path that many would not understand.

I fear to lose him, but I also fear to compromise my faith again.

Besides the impiety of such an act, of turning my back on what I know to be true, 

The misery would seep from my pores 

Oozing forth

To slowly poison our love.

I would lose him anyway, just slower.

In a more cowardly way. 

Perhaps I am a coward to not set him free now.

Can I not pursue the path my soul is called to take, and also have this person who makes my heart sing?

Can I not be both a priestess 

And a wife?